Wished I could use obliviate spell for my feelings.
Trying t get over, very hard.
My mind is there, but my heart is halfhearted.
Everyday my Brain tells me it’s a new day, I try t divert myself into other things. Movies. Th less romance th better. I can’t bring myself t watch anything romance genre anymore. And music? Love songs? Just kills me.
I hate it that I’m so weak. I hate it that my heart kills whatever my mind seeks t conquer.
My heart just hurts so much. It’s like there’s this actual pain. But I know it’s not. It’s my heart’s that’s th actual culprit.
I now do deep breaths, smoke.
Everything seem t remind me. Radio’s on . Th songs. My friends. They went through it with me. And t my dismay my room.
But I told myself. I was heartbroken 2years ago. With a boy named James. I cried and stopped. And waited for his messages. Thinking he would. And soon then after started clubbing. Then found Adam. He looked cool. Was my actual impression. But I still thought of James. But soon after, I started messaging Adam. Th feelings started t build. And sooner a later, got used t it.
I was thinking. Is this right? Not getting over James? Then overtaking feelings like this. Is that th way? Or are you suppose to completely get over, then get into it when your ready.
Maybe there’s just no rule. When you fall, you fall hard. Just make sure to catch you when you fall. No matter what.
But you can never be sure of anything. Never.
Better t keep your heart safe and not trust 100%.
